GABRIELA-National Alliance of Women has condemned Vice President Sara Duterte over her remarks advising women overseas Filipino workers (OFWs) in Hong Kong to be good at “esmiringhoy,” or be good in bed, to prevent their partners from cheating.
In a video circulated online, Duterte told women attending a community gathering that being skilled in the sexual act would keep their partners from abandoning or betraying them.
“Alam niyo paano hawakan ang lalaki? Na hindi talaga siya mag-meaning, hindi ka niya iwanan? Hindi ka niya lokohin? Dapat magaling ka sa esmiringhoy,“ Duterte said on Nov. 8.
In a statement on Wednesday, GABRIELA described the remark as misogynistic and an example of victim-blaming, saying women should not be held responsible for their partners’ infidelity or have their worth measured by their ability to satisfy men.
The group said the statement was particularly insulting to OFWs who have left their families and the country to earn a living, arguing that it reduced women to instruments of men's satisfaction rather than recognizing their labor and sacrifices.
“Instead of holding men accountable for their cheating and abuse, the advice places the burden on women to keep their partners through sexual performance,” GABRIELA said.
It added that the remark reflected a “victim-blaming“ mentality that women continue to face in their homes, workplaces and the justice system, where they are often questioned about what they did or failed to do before experiencing violence or betrayal.
“Such advice teaches women to endure and to adjust for men, so that when a man cheats, the woman is made to carry the blame,” the group said.
“It is this feudal-patriarchal culture that grants men impunity and punishes women for the wrongdoing of others,” it added.
GABRIELA stressed that the struggles of Filipino women stem from the lack of adequate protection, livelihood opportunities and respect for their rights, not from any supposed failure to please their partners.
“A woman is never to blame for a man's infidelity,” the group said.
The alliance also urged government officials to refrain from making statements that promote misogyny and discrimination against women.
It called on women to reject the notion that their worth depends on how well they serve and satisfy men, while urging public officials not to portray patriarchal attitudes as concern for women.
“Remarks that reduce women to instruments of men's satisfaction reflect a government that treats women and its people as mere objects to be used and sold,” GABRIELA said.
The term “esmiringhoy,” a Visayan slang expression commonly understood as a euphemism for sexual intercourse, recently gained popularity on social media following viral clips from an October 16 episode of Sen. Raffy Tulfo’s YouTube program, “Raffy Tulfo in Action.”
The term was used by a woman who sought help on the program over her husband's alleged infidelity, recounting how he would turn her down whenever she initiated sexual intercourse.
